Is This A Miracle . . . ?

After I had my brain washed, literally brain washed. This is where they opened my skull back up and literally rinsed my brain of all infection or almost all of the infection. I was put on a round of intravenous antibiotics for 6 weeks. I didn't seem to have the trouble speaking as did before but my face was really really swollen. I mean really swollen. You couldn't tell who I was by looking at me. At this time, I became very short of breath. Now I am not sure that the surgery caused the shortness of breath but I couldn't hardly catch my breath. When I would stand up, just standing up would wear me out and make me shaky. I just couldn't seem to breathe so the nurses hooked me up on oxygen. Not knowing whether this was normal after two major surgeries or not, I didn't complain. Then again, everyone that I know says that I don't usually complain. I just like to think of it as looking on the bright side of things. I have said it before and I will keep saying it . . . nobody wants to be around a whiny person, so I try my best not to whine. My thinking is that "it is what it is". Now back to the story . . . I was in the hospital for several more days. They finally sent me down to check for blood clots. They found out that my lungs were filled with blood clots. The proper terminology for this condition is a pulmonary embolism. Just one blood clot to the lungs can literally kill a person. I had literally 100's of them, some of them were pretty good sized. So this was what was really wrong with me. I remember thinking, "Lord, Why didn't you take me then," it would have been so easy for Him to do this. I didn't want to lay around and suffer like I have seen so many others do. I soon put this out of my head because He didn't take me and there must be some reason I was left here although I didn't know why. My work wasn't done here. I still don't know why He left me here but the fact is, I am here and I guess He wanted me to write about my experiences more or something of that nature. I remember thinking if I lived through all this that I might just do something about it. Something that could benefit others, you know, tell my story. Well, here I am telling my stories and here you are reading them, so that must be at least a part of God's will. 


Over all these years battling with cancer, it never ceases to amaze me how God works things out. He really does know best. He can take the suffering of others and make lessons of them, lessons we can all learn from. Lessons that we might not believe otherwise. I am thankful that I am here and I am thankful that I can tell you all these stories of my battles. I am just thankful!