Second Set of Treatments . . .

Before we could begin the second set of treatments we needed to know if it was the same type of cancer as before. The doctors told me that they would just put a needle into the bone to get the biopsy. OK, so now I am picturing something like a hammer and chisel. I am so not looking forward to this. I am not the smartest but I’m not stupid either. Those of you that know me . . . no comments from the peanut gallery please. Arrive at UVA for the test, still picturing the hammer and chisel procedure and yes still not looking forward to it. Much to my relief, the doctor explains the procedure and then shows me the gun with a little needle in it that just pops in and out very quickly. Whew, thank God they aren’t as primitive as expected. It was all over very quickly, Praise God Again!

Tattoos are pretty popular right now, but when I was growing up it just wasn’t something you did unless you were in the military or something similar. The technician informed me once again that I would need to be tattooed for the treatments. The tattoos look like a little black mole or something. It’s ironic that I wouldn’t even date someone that had a tattoo when I was young, now I had six.

Thankfully the radiation treatments on my sternum area were done at a hospital close to home. My family doctor had recommended a local Radiation Doctor to administer the treatments the doctors at UVA had decided upon. Treatments began and ended fairly quickly. Sorry, no really funny tales to tell during treatments. The only complication is there were a couple of weeks that my throat was sore, nothing to write home about.

About a month or so after treatments the burns from radiation began to show up (externally). Yes, with radiation it is almost always a delayed reaction but everyone reacts differently. The burns were bad enough to where I couldn’t wear a bra and just wore loose fitting tops in layers. I went to my family doctor’s office to get some burn cream so that the burns would heal faster. So, I am sitting in the room waiting for the doctor to come in to talk to me, he arrives and asks to see my burns, so he could see how bad they were. Did I mention that when you have babies or cancer or any other major illness that you tend to lose your inhibitions? Well, it is so true. Ok, moving on, so the doc asks me to see my radiation burns . . . I simply lifted my shirts up, figured that was the quickest, easiest way. My doctors face turned a little red, I could tell he was surprised (although I don’t know why) and then he laughed a little nervously and looked at the nurse and told her, well, I love my job. We all laughed about it and I did get the burn cream prescription and was on the road to healing in a short time. It’s just another one of those wonderful things to be thankful for.

I returned to UVA for a checkup and tests to see how the treatments had worked. Test results proved that I was in remission once again and so thankful and blessed to be back on the road to recovery. I am still Praising God for His healing whether it is through divine healing or through the technology that God gives to the doctors and researchers. The best things to remember is don’t give up, keep your chin up, and keep your attitude up as best you can. If you have trouble with that then ask a friend or family to come over and find something to laugh about. Laughter is one of the best medicines there is!

Second Diagnosis . . .

I went for check-ups for over four years. I had begun to work again after getting some other health issues under control. I was working in a bakery and decorating cakes, baking all kinds of goodies. I enjoyed it for the most part. I had learned to decorate cakes from my Mom, who was known as the cake lady when I was growing up. She made cakes to earn money so she could be a stay at home Mom. She also taught cake decorating for our local community college for several years.

About three months before I was going for my FIVE year check up, I noticed a place on my chest that was a little sore. The five year check-up is something all cancer patients look forward to because after five years you are considered cancer free and cured. I wasn’t concerned about the soreness, I just figured I had injured myself somehow and just didn’t remember what I had done. As time passed I noticed the spot getting more sore. After about six weeks I had begun to have problems with soreness in my arms and shoulders and noticed that when I would reach for something that it had become rather painful to do so. About two weeks before my five year check up I decided I should call the doctor at UVA and let him know what was going on. At this point it was pretty apparent there was something wrong and I was only two weeks from my “final” appointment. When I made the call I talked with my doctors assistant. She had a whole long list of questions and I answered them. The more questions she asked the more serious I began to think it was. After one-hundred and fifty seven questions (OK it probably wasn’t that many) she told me she would talk to the doctor and call me back.  She called back within a couple of hours. It has been my experience when they call you back right away; it isn’t usually a good thing. I was to have a PET scan when I came in for my five year check-up.

Now I have had lots and lots of tests but had never had a PET scan so I didn’t know what to expect. It’s a lot like a CT scan, they just use a different kind of fluid to “light” everything up. The substance they use is a nuclear medication.  The technician conducting the test did several things to prepare you for the test, none of which were very eventful. They do put an IV in etc. When he came to inject the nuclear medication, you know me, I laugh at weird stuff. He was all dressed up and no place to go. As he came near me, he was wearing a suit of lead complete with protective goggles and protective gloves. He looked like he was going to go deep sea diving all he needed now was an air tank strapped to his back. He was walking very slowly toward me so he wouldn’t “spill” any of the medication in the syringe. I burst out into a laugh. All I could think was he was being so careful not to get any of that substance on himself and he was going to put it in my veins. He injected the liquid into my IV, there was no reaction, and I mean I didn’t feel anything so it was pretty uneventful. You go into the room and they do the scan and then you are done. It’s pretty simple and then you wait for the doctors to get their results. They did put in a catheter, which also wasn’t really any big deal. Your bladder has to be empty - completely empty when they do the scan.

I go to leave the room and one of the technicians notices my bag has leaked just a little (two whole drops, literally). They immediately went into panic mode. I am standing there thinking, let’s overreact now. They started making calls. I go to walk out of the room and they tell me I can’t walk out that way because of those two little itty bitty drops. I’m thinking, how stupid is that? The drops came out of me and now they won’t even let me walk around it? As Charlie Brown would say . . . “Good Grief”. I offered to clean it up and they informed me that only the hazmat team could clean it up. And so they proceeded to call the hazmat team to come “clear” the room. At this point I am laughing out loud again about the huge deal they are making about two little drops of pee. Just didn’t make sense to me, then again, as I have said before, I know I am a little weird. It takes the hazmat team approximately 3 hours to “clear the area.” Talk about overkill.

After the doctors received my results, I was informed that the cancer had spread and I now had bone cancer in my sternum area. There were two spots that would need to be treated with radiation. Praise God it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And Praise God the treatment only entailed radiation treatments. They even arranged for me to have the treatments close to home. And here we are, another blessing from God.

Just a Silly Memory

Those of you that know me know I love to laugh. I was a bit of a cut up in high school and I guess I just never grew out of it. I believe I mentioned in an earlier blog that I don’t like grumpy or mean people. I know it’s hard to believe, but I just don’t care to be around them. I don’t like being miserable, I know misery loves company etc. but that’s just not me. My Grandmother on my Mom’s side was a bit of a cut up too; guess that might be where some of it comes from. Having said all of that, I will finally move on.

As I said in previous blogs I had external radiation and internal radiation. What I didn’t tell you was how much joking around I did about this. I used to joke about my eyes glowing in the dark. Trust me; I did check it out, no glowing here. I remember asking one of the nurses if it was normal for your pee to be glow in the dark. It took her a minute but she finally realized I was joking. She didn’t think it was nearly as funny as I did. Then you start to wonder if some people really believe that. I had visions of playing a practical joke on someone, should I?

I think most people have seen those little glow sticks that you can buy that glow in the dark when you break the little glass tube inside the plastic and shake them up. They come in different colors, pink, and green, yellow, orange. My daughter loved playing with those things; she just thought they were so cool. I found one that hadn’t been used yet and broke it open one evening, cut the end off of it and poured the contents into the toilet. Now keep in mind all of us at the house had joked about my eyes or pee glowing in the dark. Yea, you guessed it, I cut the light out and there wasn’t much glowing going on. Next time, I made sure I had a couple of those little things around. I poured them into the toilet and yelled for the kids to come. They both came running. I cut the light off in the bathroom and there in the toilet was my glowing “pee” or so they thought. The kids thought that was a pretty cool trick. They wanted their pee to glow too. OK, I cannot tell a lie, that never really happened but I did joke about it with older family and friends. Just a little something interesting to keep things on the light side. I told you I like to joke and kid around. It is something I thought about doing; I just didn’t want to scare anyone too terribly.

Blessings!

I know Counting Your Blessings sounds pretty weird when it is in reference to cancer. To be honest, sometimes you have to look for those blessings but they are there, always there. After having both of the Brachy therapy treatments I went home for about six weeks. I don’t really remember much during this time because I was very medicated. I did have some radiation burns and so I was thankful for the medication that made me very sleepy. I also remember the look on my husband’s face when he was taking care of me. He looked so concerned and worried. He was trying his best not to show it but when you have been married for many years there are just some things you can’t hide no matter how hard you try. I also remember my sweet Mom’s face too; I know she wanted to make it all better.

During the recovery time I felt so blessed. Many friends and neighbors were calling to check on me, bringing meals over and coming to visit. Each and every one of them was a blessing. They had prayed so faithfully during the whole time of treatment and now through recovery. I was so humbled by the cards and letters that came in the mail and the words of encouragement and love that arrived in the mail box almost daily. What Blessings!

When I went back to the doctor for a check-up, we went through some tests etc. (as always) and awaited the results. One thing that I have always appreciated about UVA (University of Virginia) is that they are very quick to give the results of tests; they are much faster than the labs and facilities at home. Praise God, it was good news; the cancer had shrunk and would continue to do so over the next couple of months. What a blessing, what a relief. I could hardly wait to get on the phone to pass the good news on to the loved ones at home, family, friends and church family.

On the road to recovery was a great place to be. Now I would just go for check-ups every three months. How wonderful!

After going for check-ups for a little over a year, I got some test results I wasn’t very happy with. The little letter that comes in the mail just said that I needed to take the test over and that I could have the Pap smear done at my local GYN’s. I called to make the appointment, explained what was going on and they worked me in within a few days. (My GYN is the one that found the cancer to begin with.) I go into his office; he comes in the room and was very light hearted. I wondered what the deal was; turns out they just didn’t get enough cells for the original test so there wasn’t a problem. My GYN was laughing a little because the Dr. at UVA was my GYN’s professor at one time. Let this be a lesson that when you are called back for repeat tests, it isn’t always bad news. What a Blessing!

Another Laugh . . .

They don’t allow you to sit up or get up during the internal radiation treatments. This keeps the “seeds” in place where they will do their job. The diet during this time is a very boring one. I got three meals a day which consisted of a cup of broth and ½ a cup of jello. The jello couldn’t have any red food coloring in it so my choices were limited. I could have yellow (lemon) or lemon (yellow). On my third day in the hospital, I looked at my wonderful meal and saw that there was orange jello there. I was so thankful for another flavor that I began to eat the jello right away. The nurse passed the room and saw the orange jello and proceeded to try and take it from me. Did I mention I was on a lot of medication . . . I growled at the nurse, grabbed the jello out of her reach and said “it’s mine”. Now the voice that I usually have wasn’t the one that came out of my mouth, it was a much deeper voice and it sounded like I meant business. Needless to say, the nurse backed off and I got to keep my orange jello, even though it had red food coloring in it. At this time I would like to remind you, I was on some high powered medication, that is my story and I am sticking to it.

From Hospital to Home to Hospital

I was home for two weeks after finishing the first internal radiation. I returned to UVA better equipt. This time I didn’t bring any books because I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus enough to read them. I didn’t have any large print books at the time, to be honest; the thought never crossed my mind. While they were preparing me for the second of these treatments, the doctors decided to give me an epidural before implanting the “seeds”. Those of you who have had children in recent years know exactly what that is. Something in that medication didn’t react with me well at all. The doctors had said that I would be so relaxed I would probably go to sleep. You know me . . . I don't follow the rules, I will add it isn't always intentional that I don't follow the rules, it just happens that way. So, I get the medication in my IV to "relax" me. Suddenly, I feel really warm all over and energized, hyper in fact. Then it begins, I begin to talk incessantly. When I say incessantly, I mean non stop and at an accelerated pace. I told the doctors all about the birth of both of my children. Even the smallest of details. My mouth was going at 95 miles an hour in a 25 mile an hour zone. Now, in my defense, I did not realize I was doing this, it just kind of happened. I do, however, remember the moment I did realize I was talking really really fast and covering a lot of stories. It was when one of the doctors in the room said "excuse me Mam, pardon me, but can you talk to him (pointing to another doctor) for a few minutes, I have to go over here and do something." I remember replying to him, Oh, no problem at all, I guess I am talking a lot, sorry, I just can't seem to stop. So, I continued to talk, talk and talk some more to the next ear that would listen. When I went to the recovery room, the nurses had already heard of my condition . . . constantly talking . . . and were already prepared and they were laughing. I was cracking jokes and carrying on. They said they didn't get patients that lively very often at all. From that point on, the nurses remembered me every time they saw me, even if it was just in the hall way at the hospital. 

Finished Chemo . . . Finished Radiation . . . Now What?

After finishing my chemo and radiation I was very happy. Glad it was all behind me and ready to get on with life. I went for a check up to see how everything had gone and we found that the tumor had not shrunk. Naturally my mood shrunk with the news. I still had one other treatment to do and the doctors didn’t seem concerned about the lack of progress as yet. They told me not to worry and the next round of treatments would do the trick. The procedure is called Brachy Therapy and it is a type of internal radiation. I won’t go into all the details simply because it isn’t necessary to do so. I will however, tell you about one of my experiences during these treatments. I had two of them and there are some funny stories that go along with both of them.

After the radiation “seeds” have been put into place, I could only lay at a 30 percent incline. You can’t do much at a 30 percent incline, let me tell you. I was to be in the hospital for 4 days and because of the high level of radiation I was allowed no visitors. The nurses could only be in the room for 26 minutes for a 12 hour shift. Those of you that know me know my sense of humor is just a bit off center, OK, it is a little warped, and that’s probably more accurate. I’m in the hospital room, I have lots of books to read so I can catch up on my reading, I have my portable CD player and lots of CD’s. I am ready, trying to look on the bright side and looking forward to reading.

The “radiation team” comes into my room and I burst out laughing as soon as I saw them, we are talking one of those almost uncontrollable laughs. I am looking at the 3 doctors in my room with alien suits on, complete with head gear and they are pushing a buggy with a stainless steel cylinder with all kinds of warnings on it. I thought I had fallen asleep and woke up in a Sci-Fi movie. I looked for the spaceship and couldn’t see it outside my window. They all looked very serious, (I think they were wondering if I had already had too much pain medication), I was still laughing, thinking, you’re kidding right? They completed the procedure by placing the “seeds” in their proper place. Mumbled some things to each other, I didn’t understand what they said; I think they were speaking alien. I would tell you what language I thought it was but not knowing what planet they were from made it impossible for me to determine. One of the aliens, I mean doctors came over to discuss what to expect and to tell me that my IV had my pain medication in it. I could press the button when I needed more medication.

OK, so it has begun. Did I mention that I was on pain medication? Oh, yea, I did. Well, let me tell you a secret. When you are on high powered pain medication, you can’t see very well with or without glasses. I pride myself on being a fast learner and it only took me a couple of hours to realize there would be no reading books during this procedure. I looked and looked at the pages, turned the book at angles, held it close, held it far away, nope couldn’t see a thing. Praise God I brought the music along and I did have a TV in the room. Shortly into the treatment I realized the medication made me a little nauseated. One of the times the nurse was in the room I mentioned the nausea to her and she said the doctor had already left orders for medication to counter act the nausea. Oh, my goodness. The new medication was funny. I would pass out almost as soon as they started putting it into my IV. Good thing I wasn’t going to read.

Chin in the UP Position!

I really did pretty well with “keeping my chin up” so to speak. I developed the “Miss Scarlett” attitude. Hopefully you all know exactly who I am talking about, Miss Scarlett from “Gone With The Wind.” Her last words in the movie are . . . “Oh Well, I can’t think about that today, I’ll have to think about that tomorrow, and after all, tomorrow is another day”. It isn’t so easy to do to begin with but the longer you do, the easier it gets. Don’t get me wrong, you will have times where you just want to go and cry for a while. Just don’t let yourself stay there. You really can control it if you set your mind to it, especially if you pray and have others praying to help you.

I remember one of those days where I was discouraged (trust me; I had more than one day I was discouraged). I had gone to get my radiation treatment and the next day was my day for chemo. I was tired and hadn’t felt good for several days. I wasn’t sick, just really, really tired. My children were 9 and 12 at the time, they were at home and I didn’t want them to see me crying. I drove around after the treatment, crying and getting it out of my system. I turned on the radio it was set to the local Christian Station. I heard these beautiful voices singing “You raised me up, so I can stand on Mountains,” the group Selah was singing it. Even though the song was a very simple one, it was just what I needed at the time. While driving around, I found myself near our local Christian Book Store. I stopped, red nose and eyes and all and went into the book store. Thankfully they know me there and knew my situation. I asked one of the owners if she could help me find a song, I didn’t get the name of it from the radio so I told her what some of the words were, she knew what it was immediately and went to the store stereo and played it for me. I bought the CD on the spot. The CD had several wonderful songs on it and with prayer and listening to the music; I composed myself and proceeded to drive myself home. It was nice to relieve a little tension but even better to listen to the music. I get a lot of inspiration through music; it is something I love. If you are going through a tough time with any illness, take a little time for yourself, do something that makes you happy. Listen to music, read a book, watch a favorite movie, work on some crafts, just do something you really enjoy from time to time so you don’t feel like you are missing out on so much. It’s good therapy.

Chemotherapy Treatments

Earlier in this blog I told you a little about my first chemo treatment and how the Lord helped me take my mind off of myself. He reminded me that although it wasn’t easy, I had it a lot easier than a lot of people. To be honest that applies to life in general. No matter how bad you feel things are. . There is someone who has more troubles than you, always.

Chemo wasn’t nearly as bad as I had expected. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t fun either. I usually had a really good day the actual day I received the chemo. I never knew it before, but they give you a bunch of other drugs in with the chemo medication. They put in other medications to help keep you from getting so sick. So if I was going to go somewhere or do something I went out right after chemo. The second day I would start feeling a little bad and by the third day I was sick with nausea etc. The staffs at the hospitals were great and I was blessed with really great doctors too. And priceless was the support that I received from my family and Church Family, even my community too. I felt and still feel so unworthy of it all but am so thankful to the Lord for each and every person that called to check on me, sent cards and most of all prayed for me and my family while we were going through this tough time.