The Diagnosis

About 7 years ago, I went for a routine physical and over the next couple of weeks was on the roller coaster ride of my life. I was diagnosed with Cervical cancer. Just a cancer that happened to show up there. After a biopsy confirmed our worst fears I was referred to UVA Medical Center for treatment.

I thought I would have a hysterectomy and would be done with it all. That wouldn't be so bad now would it. Unfortunately, that isn't how it happened. I spent much time in prayer. I want to go to Heaven but wanted to see my children grown before I go. I don't think I reacted to the news in a normal way, then again, when you are dealing with cancer, what is normal? My doctors at UVA decided that I would need radiation and chemotherapy. This was unnerving as I had already decided that I would have the hysterectomy and that would be all there was to it. I was able to receive the treatments closer to home and I was thankful for that. As I left UVA after talking to the doctors the first time, I was walking down the hall in tears. My doctor followed me down that hall way, stopped me and gave me a much needed hug. He then told me that the thing I needed to remember most of all is that they could help me. He was exactly right, they could and they did.

I never wondered why me. I remember thinking, why not me. To be honest, I was thankful it was me and not one of my children, it was me and not my husband, that it was me and not my parents. I know it sounds corny, but that was just how I looked at it.

God gave me a peace and a calm during this time. I was on a journey that I didn't really want to be on. The peace that fell over me is kind of hard to explain. The thing that stands out most to me now is how I tried using humor to make others be OK with it. When you know someone has cancer the first time you see or talk to someone after their diagnosis is really hard.  I've been on both sides of the fence on this one and although it is hard being the "sick" person, it is also hard for those that are close to the "sick" one. They are at a loss of words. We live in a society where things get fixed and they get fixed fast. This isn't something that can be fixed so quickly. As the "well" person, you  are just at a loss for words, you want to say the right thing, but are afraid you will say the wrong thing. Having been on both sides, I can honestly tell you that just a simple "I'm praying for you" does wonders. Then take action on that and actually do the praying. Just a hug or a simple "I love you" or "so sorry to hear your news". Those are things that help. It's never a good idea to try and act like there is nothing there when we all know that there is an elephant in the room (so to speak).

I remember there were a few people that actually tried to avoid me after my diagnosis. It made me feel really bad that they didn't want to talk to me. It wasn't that they didn't want to talk to me, it was more that they had no idea what to say. Most of all, they didn't want to say the wrong thing, so they said nothing. As the cancer patient, I wondered if they thought cancer was contagious. It took me a while to realize what the problem was. Now that I know what it was, its just easier to make the first move and then we could resume our friendship.

I have always tried to find humor in things, in everyday life. Cancer opens a whole new door on that one. Some of the things that aren't funny when you are going through them become funny as you look at them a little later on. I will share some of these little stories as I continue this blog. For now, I will stop here by leaving you with some advice. Don't ignore it, it isn't going to go away on it's own (unless God intervenes). So, lets get through the yucky stuff so we can get on to having fun and enjoying life again!